Student
What will I eat at this college? Pizza! That's what low-achieving rich kids eat, right? Pizza!
What does this school have going for it? Let's see. It's way easier to get into than W&L? It doesn't have the annoying cultural cache of Hollins? Virtually anonymous even within the Commonwealth of Virginia?
Level of school spirit? Warm and half-baked, just like the pizzas upon which they so desperately gorge.
Faculty involvement? Brags about it like it's a good thing.
Parent
Braggable or shameful? Those of the moneyed class like to call it Bilgewater College. As in the water that collected in the bilge, or lowest area, of a ship. Bilgewater contains, like the average Bilgewater student, various chemicals, filth, urine, and marinara sauce. A jungle-juice of shamefulness.
Anything to get pumped about if my kid goes to this school? You can say your kid goes to BC, which is almost like going Boston College!
Will I want to visit my daughter at this school? It's an easy drive, right off of I-81. The Shenandoah Valley is gorgeous and under-appreciated. However, every hour you spend visiting is two hundred dollars of a wasted investment. Who knew the twinkle of your eye could morph into such a veritable pit of money?
