Parent
What are some misconceptions about this college? Firstly, there's the misconception that Bluefield College is, in fact, a school of higher learning. It is not. It is actually a not-so-closely guarded secret that Bluefield College is the codename for the Appalachian SETI Collective & Laboratory. In fact, the laboratory, an Area 51 of the South, is what brought about the need for codewords and an elaborate front, complete with a school website and fake alumni.
About the website. What happens if you apply? Your money is accepted, and you receive an email from NASA thanking you for your patriotism and support in the search for intelligent extraterrestial life.
Braggable or Shameful? N/A. However, if your kid says she got a job teaching at Bluefield College, it means she's going to be getting paid to do something like study and cultivate alien bacteria.
Bragging about this could result in a stern talking-to from the FBI.
Student
What would I see if I went on a tour of the campus? Concrete bunkers, guard towers, flat-bed trucks carrying cages of reinforced-steel.
Will I have fun at this school? A lot of bonding goes on here, both figuratively and literally.
Will I meet the Love of My Life at this school? Probably -- there's only one set of barracks, one cafeteria, and little privacy. As the school motto says, Those Who Have Nothing to Hide Need No Privacy!
